how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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