is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
