U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
