There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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