If that was your dad, he is hot
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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