Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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