Sry I called you an 8
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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