i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
