marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
