that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
