Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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