Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
