I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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