I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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