This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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