It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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