There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
