Duck Duck Cougar?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
