you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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