stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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