You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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