would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
