Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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