I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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