someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
