so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
