dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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