It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
