oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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