I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
