His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
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