Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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