i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
