I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
