i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
