I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
