I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
