I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
