College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
