3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
