I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
