She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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