her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
