She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
