am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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