i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i barfeds in our rink
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
