she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
