I have demons in me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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