I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
