Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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