you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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