Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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