so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
