he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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