Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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